Why do Americans often call their Italian grandmothers Nonni?

Is your Italian grandmother supposed to be called Nonna, Nona, Nonni, Noni or even something else? This is a frequent point of debate in many of the Italian and Italian American discussion groups to which I belong. Well, I’m here to give you the definitive and final answer!

That’s a joke, because there is no such thing in such a hotly debated discussion, especially when Italians are involved! There can only be a reasoned and educated opinion, which is what I hope to provide, a voice from experience.

My own Nonna, Anita Seghieri

I’m a citizen of both Italy and the United States, with homes in both places, and I have a strong respect for the culture of both countries, and also for the Italian immigrants who made new lives for themselves in American 100 years ago and earlier. I’m aware that the correct answer, strictly speaking, is Nonna, but there is also a very good reason that many Italian Americans called their grandmothers Nonni or Noni instead—and it doesn’t necessarily mean they are ignorant or poorly educated.

One possibility is that immigrants sometimes called their grandmothers Nonnina, which is an affectionate and diminutive form of Nonna. My dad had an aunt named Rosa, but everyone in the family knew her as Rosina. It could be that some people started shortening Nonnina to Nonni.

However, a much more likely answer is that these early grandmothers had come to America, and they and their families started adopting the American custom of using the “i” “y” or “ie” ending as a term of endearment or affection. In American, children often change dad to daddy, mom to mommy, aunt to aunty, and grandmother to granny or grammy. The same is true of dozens of Italian given names: Antonio became Tony, Vincenzo to Vinny, Francesco to Frankie, Salvatore to Sally or Solly, Roberto to Bobby, Giovanni to Johnny or Gianni, Paolo to Paulie.

Another possible reason could be that some children found Nonni easier to pronounce than Nonna. Stephanie Beddia, now of South Carolina, notes, “I was supposed to be Nonna, but when my first grandson started to talk, he just kept saying, ‘Nonni, Nonni, Nonni.’”

Obviously, the Italian grandmothers knew the correct term, but most did not object to being called Nonni instead of Nonna, understanding that it was a term of endearment in America. My given name is Paul, but I don’t mind if Italian Americans call me Paulie or Italians call me Paolo. In a way, it is flattering, because it signifies that they accept me as belonging in their communities.

Grandmothers accepted or even embraced this American version because, well, they were now in America. If that’s the way people spoke in America, then Italian grandmothers accepted the slight change. Kids were already taught to say Daddy and Mommy instead of Babbo and Mamma, because it was important to be considered American. President Theodore Roosevelt said, in 1915: “There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. A hyphenated American is not an American at all.” He was speaking to persons who referred to themselves as Italian-Americans, Irish-Americans, etc. Thus, it’s not hard to see why Italian immigrants were willing to adopt American customs.

One final comment on this: Whenever this topic is discussed, it will provoke comments such as, “Using Nonni to refer to an Italian grandmother is a bastardization of the language and just shows the ignorance of Americans. This would never be accepted in Italy.”

This kind of arrogance troubles me. Yes, I know that Nonna is the word of choice in Italy, but Italy is a land full of dialectical differences. The Italian spoken in America by our immigrant forebears is also a dialect, and it should be respected as such and not denigrated and regarded as inferior to other dialects.

In the words of New Yorker Amber Preston: “It’s a grandparent’s prerogative to be called by any name they want by their grandchildren, period. It’s not a choice for anyone else to judge.”