Let's use our different "Italian" experiences as stepping stones to deepen our understanding and bonds

Joining Italian American groups on Facebook has been an eye-opening experience. Until recently, I had not realized how sheltered I had been to the full experience of Italian immigration in America and Australia. This is mainly because my grandparents and their Italian relatives settled primarily in a small town in Western Washington where they were the only Italians. In addition, they were from Tuscany, while the majority of immigrants to America were from Southern Italy. Though my grandparents did face many of the same hurdles confronted by Italians growing up in larger cities in the east, my grandparents' children did not grow up learning slang and dialectical distortions such as muzzadel, gabagool, ree-goat, prushoot and goombah. They never heard of the feast of seven fishes. In fact, my grandparents did not even know what pizza was, as this specialty of Napoli did not become universally popular until long after my nonni left Italy in the early 1900s (though nonna did bring with her traditional recipes for biscotti, pasta asciutta, fried zucchini and zuppa inglese).

What I also did not realize is how fiercely some people react to the consideration of what it means to be Italian. We Italian Americans cling to our family traditions as examples of what it means to be Italian, but we often don’t consider that these traditions were imported well over 100 years ago—and furthermore they came from the specific village where our grandparents or great grandparents originated. It is not unusual to read passionate arguments on Facebook complaining that one person’s traditions are “not Italian” because they differ from another person’s traditions. For several years now I have been considering writing something about these arguments, urging tolerance for the traditions of others. And then I read an excellent essay by my friend Gianni Pezzano, which I am reprinting below, that sums up many of the points I wanted to make and saves me some time. Gianni grew up in Australia but now lives in Italy. He writes about Italian culture for the magazine Daily Cases.

Being Italian: What does this mean?

Gianni Pezzano

What do people mean by “Italian”? This is where many arguments start, and I suggest people stop and consider before they make a quick comment that will be attacked by others. In these arguments, both sides are right and wrong at the same time. Do people mean Italian according to how they grew up in an Italian family overseas, or how things are done in Italy? Both experiences are legitimate, and saying only one is valid is a mistake. For example, some Italian Americans complain when Italians from Italy point out that some things are not done in Italy. For example, serving meat, salad and pasta at the same time as people do in America does not happen in other Italian communities anywhere else in the world. Residents of Italy rightly explain this, and this must be respected, but they should also respect the fact that traditions change over the years, as is natural and inevitable in another country.

Pasta alla carbonara

And then many Italian Americans say some things that come from Italy are not Italian or are “yucky,” basically complaining when something from Italy does not conform to their model of “Italian.” And here they are wrong. Just as things changed in the USA, traditions in Italy change naturally and inevitably because of new influences as well. One example? Spaghetti alla carbonara dates back to World War 2 and the Allied occupation in Rome. An Italian chef invented the dish for a new way to use the powdered eggs (eggs were scarce in Italy at the time) and the abundant bacon the US troops had. This is now a “100% Italian” dish known around the world. And this is only one example. So why criticize these changes in Italy?

Trofie al pesto genovese

Also, when the migrants left Italy, many things that are now national Italy traditions were only regional. For example, migrants from the south did not even know what pesto was because it was limited to the Liguria region from where it originated, but over time, now all of Italy eats it and it is sold in all the supermarkets. The same is true for Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. It would have been unknown or too expensive, and the rural migrants from the south used pecorino cheese or salted ricotta because that was what was available in their hometowns in Italy, and therefore the Italian families overseas used those products.

There is a trend on both sides of the sea to mock or criticize people on the other side for things that do not conform with fixed models of being “Italian” that makes some discussion very unpleasant and often offensive. And in this regard, both sides are wrong. These useless discussions are harmful to everyone. Please consider before making certain replies. “Italian” means a lot of things and changes from person to person and country to country. If something is “Italian American” or from “Italo-Australian” culture, please say that to avoid confusion. We are all united by our Italian origins, and like all families, we are different. There is no “standard model,” because even in Italy the customs, traditions and cooking habits change drastically from town to town and family to family. Instead of arguing, we should use these discussions as opportunities to get to know each other.